FIRST IMPRESSIONS
Before going, I thought I would die. I was so scared of going alone! I almost missed my flight out of ottawa because I took the wrong bus to the airport. Then in toronto, I got lost in the airport. So far so good. Then the arrogant, contemptuous customs officials took their time searching my suitcase and chequing my id. Expecting this, I had mailed most of my literature ahead of time, but they were quite content to waste time going thru everything, trying to make me uneasy. Time passed, and still the officer didn't return with my id. I thought this was the end of my journey. But I did get my id back and was allowed to enter the u.s. (what a thrill!). As a result of these delays, I almost missed my plane to chicago! But I finally arrived in chicago, on wednesday in the late afternoon. I went to this guy's apartment with whom I'd spoken to briefly on the phone. He was very nice and cheerful, the first friendly person I'd met in chicago so far. In the evening we went to one of the gathering places, a church basement, to meet with other conference people. I was shy, but I did meet some people, including some penpals, which was fun.

---Nicole

the gathering actually started on wednesday night, the 31st, at the church with people mostly hanging out in their own groups, but there was some tentative ice breaking. there were refreshments, and the literature table. that literature table alone was an achievement. all through the event it seemed that something new was turning up on it. i only kept the things i wanted the very most, and even that was a bulky armload.

---Hal

April 30, 11:20 p.m.
I am sitting in a cramped room right now, watching my friends and some newly-made acquaintances slowly nod off to sleep. The room is crowded because there are about fifteen people sprawled throughout this tiny two-bedroom apartment. In addition to this, all of our stuff is piled into one of the corners taking up even more space. But I can't complain in the slightest. Rich, the guy who lives here, offered our whole group crash space the minute we walked into the church tonight and said we needed a place to stay. A lot of our anxiety about where we were going to stay has disappeared after getting to know this great person. I can already tell that this is going to be an incredible experience.
The pre-conference get-together tonight was very enlightening. Many of the preconceptions that I had about the people who were going to attend were completely shattered. For instance, while we were on our way to the Wellington Church earlier tonight, we thought that we might pick up some beer or wine or something to relax. But we decided against it for some strange reason. I think it was because we had some peculiar notion that these people we were about to meet were going to be these very hard, ultra-serious anarchist intellectuals who would have condemned and shunned us for bringing something as decadent as alcohol to the gathering. This was very strange and as I write this I must laugh to myself to think that I had such ridiculous misconceptions. Anyway, when we arrived, we were pleasantly surprised to find an almost festive atmosphere. The energy that I felt was truly exciting. People drinking, talking, relating in a very friendly and relaxed environment. Learning experience number one. I met a great many people tonight who were very interesting and helpful. A guy named Ben who kindly drove us to rescue our packs from the Greyhound bus station lockers. His friend Lara, an incredibly interesting person that I feel I have a lot in common with. Old friends from San Francisco and countless others. I was surprised, though, at how few people were there tonight, but the word is that there are many more people on their way for tomorrow.
I am quickly fading into sleep myself as it has been a long and busy day. I feel very fortunate that we found this place to end the first day of this adventure called Haymarket '86. If today was any indication of the things to come, I can't wait.

---Tim

On Thursday morning, May 1, I arrived in Chicago on the Greyhound bus for the Haymarket gathering. I arrived at 6:00, so I had plenty of time to look around the city and walk to the church for the first workshop. I had not been involved in any anarchist groups, but wanted to see what it was like and get involved if I could. I had never been to Chicago, either.

---David

AN IMPASSIONED SPEECH TO THE ATTENDEES OF HAYMARKET '86

Fellow anarchists,

I cannot be with you today, because I am a quadriplegic and travel is very difficult for me. But I am with you in spirit, and hope you will permit me these few words.
When the Haymarket Tragedy occurred in 1886, the anarchist movement was large and vibrant. Its heyday lasted over 50 years, from the Civil War abolitionists to the Twentieth Century deportations. In our times, I am sorry to say, I see only a skeleton of a movement left.
It is not because there are no committed anarchists out there, or that our ranks are too tiny. Your numbers here in Chicago make a lie of that. No, I suggest the problem is a lack of cohesiveness, of true comradeship.
One of the main things Haymarket was about was unity. People with different temperaments and ideas came together to support and promote the struggle for an ideal society: a non-coercive one.
I must admit that I disagree with many of the ideas and actions behind the scenes of Haymarket. I probably hold beliefs that many of you would consider wrong. Likewise, I probably disagree in some fashion with each one of you. But that does not matter. Ideas do no harm, only actions do. So long as we act peacefully, and interact voluntarily, all the rest are irrelevant preferences and prejudices. They define our individual personalities, but we should never allow them to interfere with anarchist unity, not now, nor in our anarchist future. When we get there, our "major disagreements" will become the spice of life in a truly pluralistic world. It is toward that end that I strongly urge you all to do as Voltairine asked us, namely, be "anarchists without adjectives."
You who are here now have a vivid sense of our past. By making new friends, I hope you also have a much firmer grasp of our present. But what about the future? As you all depart, I beg you think about three things:
1) Live anarchy. Find peace in your own minds, bodies, and souls. If you do not, you are no use to yourselves, much less anyone else. And when you do find inner peace, direct your lives in every way toward happiness, fulfillment, and liberation. Every action you then take will almost instinctively lead in the direction of freedom.
2) Cooperate. For the sake of all that can be good in the world, put aside personality clashes and irrelevant disputes. It sounds trite, but we are the future. We are the ones who came, battered but still moving, through all the garbage authoritarians threw at us for most of our lives. If we cannot learn to live, work, and love together, then the hope of anarchy is dead. Period.
3) Get serious by getting passionate. Academic research and philosophical treatises have their place, but what we really need are more "converts." I put that in quotes as a warning because finding converts is the work of missionaries and politicians. They find new followers by preaching, educating, cajoling, and threatening. We do not want converts; we want more free-thinking anarchists. The only ways to do that are by persuading, sharing, caring, and the most important--setting an example.
Haymarket had a lot to do with anarchy and dynamite. Anarchy is dynamite--passionate, all-encompassing love of freedom. There are millions of people in the world who already live in a sort of de facto anarchy. At the very least, they, unlike the rock-hard statists and deists, have open or just confused minds. So I beg you, go home and reach out to your neighbors, gently, in every way possible. It is better to light one candle than to curse the darkness.
The candle we carry is dynamite, and only we have the choice of how to use it. If only we all begin to practice understanding, cooperation, and passionate action, I truly believe the future can be salvaged. We owe that to the Haymarket martyrs, and most importantly, we owe it to ourselves.

---Paul

The experience of shared community on the bus provided as much @ learning as the conference (not to slag the conference). We sang May songs to practice for our may pole. Many of the people had just met. There was food to share, beer to drink and rest stops to negotiate.
By the time we arrived in Chicago, we had developed a true sense of camaraderie. Despite the hour, excitement ran high. We dropped those of our members off who opted for a "real" bed in a "real" house. We then proceeded to the next day's Anarchy Central, renewed our beer stock, hunted for an enormous parking space. We parked under the "El", one-half block from our destination and cracked a new beer. Our presence immediately stirred the curiosity of the neighborhood. One of the folks on the block came to check us out.
"What're ya doin' here?"
"Parking."
"What for?"
"To sleep."
"Where?"
"Right here."
"Right here in this thing?"
"Yeah."
"Nah, don't lie ta me, man. You guy's a band or somethin'? What're ya'll doin' here?...No really?...No shit?"
Well, the neighborhood seemed to like us and look out for us. Our "friend" of the first night stopped by almost every night. He brought us coffee one morning and he brought us tapes to listen to. He talked to us and listened to our ideas, he and a myriad of other people from the conference and the city.
Throughout the days of the conference, the proximity of our bus helped our little group maintain a sense of connectedness and continuity. We would occasionally check in, regroup and proceed on.

---Rea Lies

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Updated: 12 June 96